(I’m joining Lisa-Jo and her Five Minute Fridays. Rules are: for only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Won’t you join us?)
There are days that I dream big, that I can see my goals in reach, that I know the next step and I eagerly run toward it.
Those days are few.
Occurring much more often are the days that I look at my dreams in fear. I doubt my ability, I doubt my progress, and I long to just go back to bed.
Those are the days when, at their very essence, I find myself afraid.
Afraid of failure and afraid of success.
Afraid of change and also afraid of becoming stuck -
Afraid of finding my feet cemented in place, with my goal just outside the reach of my fingertips.
They are also the days when I am afraid of reaching my goal – of grabbing on to it so tightly that it breaks into a million unrecognizable pieces.
And I think, what if this fear wins? If this fear wins – what opportunities will I miss? What blessings will I deny? How much happiness will I turn away?
So, despite the fear, I’m too afraid to be afraid.